Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Day 157 - Hi, My Name Is Emily and I'm An Over Eater

Have you ever seen that show Mike and Molly. I love it, but my favorite parts has been when they get up at their OA (over eaters anonymous) meeting and say, "Hi, my name is Mike/Molly and I'm an over eater." So when I posted that title, I got the typical response in my head, "Hi Emily". Lol.

From January to May, I have done tremendously well, but the last part of May, I didn't just fall off the wagon, I destroyed the wagon. I have been eating horribly again, and I know it's the fact I let excuses get in my way.

#1 Excuse - Cheating just this once won't hurt. But wait, let me tell you a secret....lean closer.....#whispers It will if you cheat everyday..... #gasp. I know right!

#2 Excuse - Skipping the gym won't kill you. True, but skipping it once, just once (in my case) led to me skipping it multiple times).

Now, the main this is, that I didn't do as horribly as I am making it out to be, but I have it set in my mind that I am. I gained two pounds instead of losing two pounds. Which I've lost them again and am at an incredible 278.2lbs (yay!), but I normally lose two pounds a week and I gained two pounds that week, so in all actuality it feels like I gained four pounds. And I have to work harder at being 275 by my birthday, which is June 30th. Which I only have to lose 3.2lbs by then and I hope that I will be able to make my goal, but still, I wouldn't have had to be working so hard to do just that if I hadn't destroyed my wagon.

I am still having a problem tracking my food, and I think that's a main reason why my wagon got destroyed too. Like today, I know what I've eaten, but I just haven't gone in and tracked my food. I've got the computer right here, the iPhone sitting next to me as well as the Kindle fire. All of which have access to the Sparkpeople food tracker. Oh and I most likely haven't been drinking enough water as well. I've been trying to keep up with my water intake though. Really because it is literally all I drink. (Which I know is something I say all the time, but it's true.)

My biggest breaking point was Sunday. I had McDonalds. Stuck with the water and the grilled chicken sandwich (just bun and chicken, nothing else, literally) and then I added the fries. Afterwards I felt so bad that when my nephew didn't want his nuggets, I ate those too.

As I continued driving us home, I came to a realization. I cannot go back to that lifestyle that I have worked so hard to avoid! I cannot get off track and gain the 66.8lbs that I have lost. I just can't do it.

My trainer has been telling me to start eating foods with less salt. And while yes, I realize that's it's healthier to eat stuff with less salt/sodium, I kind of felt like I when he told me to change that, I was doing everything wrong. But another thing I realized Sunday is, 1. I already eat low sodium. That is because I was raised in a heart healthy house. Both my parents had heart issues and they changed their diets for the better and we all learned to eat foods with less salt or no salt at all. 2. What I was eating before, it was working for me. I was eating all of these foods and losing weight at the same time. Yes I know the trainer guy is supposed to know what he is doing, but maybe what he is doing is not right for me. Or I could just be stubborn, lol. Well, I know I'm stubborn, but I don't think I should change what works.

Monday, I went to the grocery store and I bought the foods that work for me, and I started eating it again. With the exception of an apple I didn't eat this morning for lunch because it was a little mushy. But all in all I'm on the right track again and feeling better.

Oh and on another note, I got my uniforms in finally and took a comparison shot of me in it compared to my old uniform. :-) Really shows a difference.