Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Day 157 - Hi, My Name Is Emily and I'm An Over Eater

Have you ever seen that show Mike and Molly. I love it, but my favorite parts has been when they get up at their OA (over eaters anonymous) meeting and say, "Hi, my name is Mike/Molly and I'm an over eater." So when I posted that title, I got the typical response in my head, "Hi Emily". Lol.

From January to May, I have done tremendously well, but the last part of May, I didn't just fall off the wagon, I destroyed the wagon. I have been eating horribly again, and I know it's the fact I let excuses get in my way.

#1 Excuse - Cheating just this once won't hurt. But wait, let me tell you a secret....lean closer.....#whispers It will if you cheat everyday..... #gasp. I know right!

#2 Excuse - Skipping the gym won't kill you. True, but skipping it once, just once (in my case) led to me skipping it multiple times).

Now, the main this is, that I didn't do as horribly as I am making it out to be, but I have it set in my mind that I am. I gained two pounds instead of losing two pounds. Which I've lost them again and am at an incredible 278.2lbs (yay!), but I normally lose two pounds a week and I gained two pounds that week, so in all actuality it feels like I gained four pounds. And I have to work harder at being 275 by my birthday, which is June 30th. Which I only have to lose 3.2lbs by then and I hope that I will be able to make my goal, but still, I wouldn't have had to be working so hard to do just that if I hadn't destroyed my wagon.

I am still having a problem tracking my food, and I think that's a main reason why my wagon got destroyed too. Like today, I know what I've eaten, but I just haven't gone in and tracked my food. I've got the computer right here, the iPhone sitting next to me as well as the Kindle fire. All of which have access to the Sparkpeople food tracker. Oh and I most likely haven't been drinking enough water as well. I've been trying to keep up with my water intake though. Really because it is literally all I drink. (Which I know is something I say all the time, but it's true.)

My biggest breaking point was Sunday. I had McDonalds. Stuck with the water and the grilled chicken sandwich (just bun and chicken, nothing else, literally) and then I added the fries. Afterwards I felt so bad that when my nephew didn't want his nuggets, I ate those too.

As I continued driving us home, I came to a realization. I cannot go back to that lifestyle that I have worked so hard to avoid! I cannot get off track and gain the 66.8lbs that I have lost. I just can't do it.

My trainer has been telling me to start eating foods with less salt. And while yes, I realize that's it's healthier to eat stuff with less salt/sodium, I kind of felt like I when he told me to change that, I was doing everything wrong. But another thing I realized Sunday is, 1. I already eat low sodium. That is because I was raised in a heart healthy house. Both my parents had heart issues and they changed their diets for the better and we all learned to eat foods with less salt or no salt at all. 2. What I was eating before, it was working for me. I was eating all of these foods and losing weight at the same time. Yes I know the trainer guy is supposed to know what he is doing, but maybe what he is doing is not right for me. Or I could just be stubborn, lol. Well, I know I'm stubborn, but I don't think I should change what works.

Monday, I went to the grocery store and I bought the foods that work for me, and I started eating it again. With the exception of an apple I didn't eat this morning for lunch because it was a little mushy. But all in all I'm on the right track again and feeling better.

Oh and on another note, I got my uniforms in finally and took a comparison shot of me in it compared to my old uniform. :-) Really shows a difference.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Day 136 - Updates

Been a while since I've blogged on SP so I thought I'd post a blog today. 

I've had a few non-scale victories lately, but my most exciting one happened yesterday. I was told at work that I had to go get measured for new uniforms, because mine are incredibly loose and frumpy looking, lol. So I went to the uniform shop and had me try on new uniform stuffs. 

NSV 1: My shirt size went from 6X to a 2X in my uniform shirt!!!! 

NSV 2: My pants are now a 50 compared to the 60 they were!!!! 

But my other nsv's that I'm also excited about, I can see my collarbones now. And I can see those little bones on the outer part of my wrist that I've never been able to see! :-) Goofy, I know, but I am so proud of those little accomplishments when it comes to my weight loss. 

Last time I blogged I weighed 285.2lbs. As of last Saturday (5/12/2012) I weighed in at 280.4lbs. :-) 4.8lbs less and a total loss of 64.6lbs so far!!!!!!!!!! 


Haven't met with my trainer lately. Probably because I've let a few things become excuses rather than actually meeting with the guy. My car situation for one and having to work late a few days the other. But I'll go to the gym Wednesday and work my butt off (hopefully literally, lol) and be the better off for it. 

Watching The Biggest Loser last season taught me that if I want a healthier me, then there can be no excuses, and that's what that is. Excuses.... I'm fairly determined when I put my mind to something though. So I'm still going to keep eating right and exercising and stay with my mottos to stay on the path for a healthier me. :-) 

Yesterday before the uniform store, my boss found an old ID picture of me I thought I would share with SP. It was taken in 2007 and of course I had to make a versus picture to show it compared to me now. :-) 

And another from when I started on Jan. 1st to May 9th 2012: 

Have a great day sparkers and thanks for sharing this journey with me! 

Monday, April 30, 2012

Day 121 - May

Yesterday I weighed myself. Forgot to on Saturday, but I have dropped another 2lbs and now weigh 285.2lbs. Which means I have 10.2lbs to go before I am at the weight I want to be at by my birthday. My birthday is on June 30th and I will be turning the big 3-0. *cringing* I know, I know, it's not that big of a deal, but I am having a little bit of a hard time dealing with it. 

May is the fifth month into my new journey (the one I'm succeeding in). 
~To lost approximately 8 more lbs. I've been losing 2lbs a week so far and with four more weeks coming that should equal out to 8lbs. But with going to the gym, I may lose more than that. :-) 
~To track what I've eaten every day. I have a little note book that I will write everything down in so I will not forget to track in on SP. 
~To drink the amount of water I am supposed to drink. I've been slacking on that lately and at my last trainer session I could feel that my body didn't have enough water. I barely broke a sweat. Which is not normal when working with him. And water is all I drink. I used to drink a Vitamin Water Zero here and there, but I think the last time I had one was a month or so ago. So definitely need to work on that. 

Mostly I am still focused on my main theme, "One Day At A Time". This is really what I have to do and not be too focused on what's going to happen long term or I know I will get discouraged. 

I will also be blogging more. I haven't really had much to say regarding my weight loss. I have been struggling to lose even the two pounds a week, but I mostly blame the non-tracking habit I've picked up lately. Back to tracking for sure! 

To reinforce my One Day At A Time theme. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Day 113 - Still Going Strong

It's been a while since I've posted a blog. But I am still going strong and on day 113!!! :-D My current weight is 287.2lbs. Which makes for a total loss of 57.8lbs! :-) 

I have made another step to getting healthier. In addition to my awesome free membership to Ballys (love my job!), I am now paying for trainer sessions. I figured how am I supposed to know what to do at the gym, and am I actually going to push myself to do it? No, most likely not. So the trainer will be doing the pushing! Lol. He's actually a pretty nice guy, I didn't think so after Friday, he had me doing exercises to strengthen my core so that I am not so off balance when I work out. I'm not as off balance as I was but I surely am not as balanced as I would like to be, lol. I have another session with him today and am nervous because I don't think I have ever worked out as hard as I do when I'm working with him. He is also being protective of my back and having me do a few exercises for it since I hurt it. 

This past week was fairly crazy. I was switched from my normal 6a - 2p shift to work from 2p - 10p. Which threw me so off! I was a grumpy person those first few days. But it also made it more difficult for me to get to the gym. I do not like waking up earlier than possible to go, so I didn't. But I did get up early Friday to meet with the trainer. So back to my normal shift this week and my plans are to go to the gym every day. Today I meet with trainer guy again and then tomorrow I will go in and do some cardio. 

My legs are still sore from Friday, but I know that this is a good sore and I will probably be even more sore tomorrow. 

My eating is still good, I cheated at my friend's daughter's birthday party, BUT I had about 1/3 the size of the normal cake I used to eat, and ate good for the rest of the day. However, it was the only thing I cheated on last week at all. So I still feel good about how I ate. The only problem I'm having is tracking my food. I know that I am eating right from past experiences and I can literally guess how many calories are in what food and such, but I don't want to accidently over do some type of food or another by not tracking it. Water consumption is still good, even better on the days I go to the gym, and it's still all I'm drinking, lol. 

But to end this blog with an awesome quote I love! 

Friday, April 6, 2012

Day 97 - Backtracking

Holy cow! I cannot believe it has been 97 days since I have been doing this! :-) This last weekend, I really went off the eating path I was doing so well on. I started Saturday with a party (EXCUSE) I went too eating waaaaay too many appetizers and then the rest of the weekend was blown as well. I didn't track any of my food, then I had tons of errands to run Monday and Tuesday and didn't eat right.(EXCUSE) But Wednesday morning I decided I was not going to screw up all of my progress that I have made in these past three months! And to re-realize that I cannot make any excuses for eating junk! 

Saturday weigh in was 293.2lbs! Which gave me a total loss of 51.8lbs. :-) :-) I am super excited about hitting the big 5-0 mark, but I am scared about this Saturday coming up and am worried that I have gained weight. Right now I would be pleased to just have maintained my weight after eating like I did this past week. I tracked my calories since Tuesday and have been doing better when it comes to eating healthier. I walked all over both Walmart and HEB yesterday. My back had a relapse on Monday causing me some more pain, but it has gotten better since. Yesterday was killer for it though walking around both stores. But because of all the walking I did yesterday my back is feeling even better and has yet to cause any pain today. 

So with the NO EXCUSES and ONE DAY AT A TIME theme that I have been using I am back to them. I know that I can do this. I can't afford not to do this. It's not worth being unhealthy just to eat something that tastes good. Today I add one more theme to my list of theme. (LOL, who knew you could have a list of themes) I AM COMMITTED! 

Thank you to SP for providing this awesome quote: 

Friday, March 23, 2012

Day 83 - Whoville?

Let me start with this: 

emoticon I am one quarter of the way finished with my journey!!! 


wait for it..... 

wait for it..... 

I am officially 298.6lbs! I am finally in twoville!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon I have never been this excited and honestly I don't even remember the last time I was in twoville. I never weighed myself. Even when I went to the doctor, I didn't look at the scale numbers so I didn't have to know exactly how much I weighed. I didn't want to know. I lived in a world of denial about my weight and felt that I would always be okay. Even after my mom had a triple bypass at the age of 47 and my dad had A-Fib at the age of 53. 

So on this beautiful Friday I have something incredible to celebrate and finally hit one of my short term goals! 

Have a great day Sparkers!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Day 79 - The Weekend

I had a fantastic weekend!! Saturday I weighed in at 301.6lbs. Last Saturday It was 303.4lbs so I'd lost 1.2lbs total. Not as much as usual, but I don't mind, because I still lost. I ate bad at the beginning of the week and I couldn't exercise any because of aftershock twinges with my back. When I weighed I really only had hopes of maintaining my current weight after not eating right at the beginning of the week and no exercise, but nope! That wasn't the case! I still lost my 1.2lbs!!! :-D 

Saturday night I went to my boss' wedding in my new SMALLER outfit and had a great time. The wedding was beautiful, and the reception was fun, especially chilling with my co-workers. The best part was all the compliments I got on my weight loss. At work, I am wearing a uniform that is 2 or 3 sizes too big and is soooooo baggy. Then I show up in clothes that fit and people noticed. It was such a huge motivational booster too. 

Sunday I slept in really late and relaxed for the most part. I got to see my friend that I haven't seen in a really long time. I spent a couple of hours with her and she and her nephew got me to try seeweed chips. NEVER Again!!! Those things were so nasty!!! I still shudder at the thought of them, lol! The only plus side is that a serving of those chips are only 10 calories. But fish and salt flavored seeweed chips are just not worth it, lol. 

All in all I had a great weekend, even with the mishap of the seeweed chip, lol. But I'm still motivated and going strong! 

Quote of the day: 
"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." 

-Bernice Johnson Reagon